Naughty
by MrsMarySmythe
Summary: The "naughty" half of my "Naughty and Nice" anthology series. Unconnected OneShots with a sexy holiday theme, alternating between Regency and Modern AU. For mature readers only.
1. He Knows When You've Been Bad (MAU)

**Title: **Naughty  
**Rating:** MA (Mature/18+) – spicier than a candy cane dipped in cinnamon, folks.  
**Disclaimer:** _Though I write stories based on the novels and characters of Jane Austen, this work belongs to ME and no one else. Unless given express permission, no one besides myself has the right to distribute or profit from my intellectual property. All rights reserved.  
_**Setting: **Modern AU

**Summary:** The "naughty" half of my "Naughty and Nice" anthology series. Unconnected OneShots with a sexy holiday theme, alternating between Regency and Modern AU. For mature readers only.

_He sees you when you're sleeping  
He knows when you're awake  
He knows when you've been bad or good  
So be good for goodness sake_

* * *

_**He Knows When You've Been Bad  
**__2019_

"When will Santa Claus get here?"

"Not until you're asleep. Close your eyes," Will replied, pulling the hot pink fleece blanket up to his six-year-old daughter's chin. Annie was adorable, of course, with her mother's cocoa brown curls fluffed out upon her pillow and her big green eyes twinkling at him above her covers, but he was too exhausted after an interminably long Christmas Eve dinner at his Grinchy Aunt Cathy's house to fully appreciate it. Now he just wanted her to go to sleep so that he could go downstairs and enjoy a glass of wine with Liz before putting out the gifts. Or maybe to throw that creepy elf thing in the fire; he could buy a new one next year and the kids would never know.

"Did you put out the cookies?" Annie sat up suddenly as if she were about to get out of bed and go check herself.

Will gently pressed her back down, folding her favorite stuffed frog into the crook of her arm, and shushed her. When the blanket was back in place, he placated, "Mama's putting them out now, Sweetling."

"And carrots for the reindeer?"

"Of course."

"Almond milk?"

Will quirked the same eyebrow his wife utilized so frequently and, though he knew better than to get his child started on what was sure to be a lengthy explanation so close to bedtime, couldn't help but ask, "_Almond_ milk?"

Annie yawned – thank Kris Kringle for _that_ Christmas miracle – and snuggled Carlos' fuzzy green head. "For his tummy. All those cookies make it upset cuz of all the red dye in the sprinkles and the carb overload."

"Is that so?"

"Just like Auntie Carrie."

"And the almond milk helps?"

"_Duh_, Daddy."

O...kay. Well, kid logic was like comic book science; it worked because they said it did. "How silly of me. Now, go to sleep. When you wake up, it will be Christmas!"

"Night Daddy."

A soft kiss on the forehead for his precious girl. "Night, Pumpkin."

Will flicked the lights off on his way out the door, Annie's shimmering aurora night light glowing against the walls and ceiling as he closed it behind him.

"_Finally_," Liz complained in a hissing whisper. She was leaning against the wall next to their son's room, her deep burgundy blouse gaping open at the top to reveal the white lace-trimmed camisole underneath. She knew that thing drove him crazy. "I thought you were going to be in there all night and leave all the Christmas Magic to me."

Will smirked and kissed his wife, soft and slow. When he withdrew, he murmured against her temple, loose wisps of her hair tickling his nose with each word. "I'll give you some 'Christmas Magic.'"

Liz laughed hoarsely and shoved him playfully away, simultaneously rolling her holly-green eyes upward. "You're kidding, right? After spending the day at your family's house fighting with Cathy and reminding Rick a thousand times to keep his stories G-rated for the kids, you're _in the mood_? You're crazy."

As she brushed past him on the way to the stairs and began her descent, Will snorted at her back. He was two steps behind her as he said, "I'm always in the mood."

"I'm in the mood for bed – and not in the sexy way," Liz countered as her feet landed on the lower floor. "But first, go get the stuff from the back of the car and let's get this over with."

Will was not yet deterred. "Okay, but then a glass of wine."

"Fine. Now go get the stuff."

Half an hour later, Santa Claus had visited the Darcy household and left behind a ridiculous number of gifts for only two kids who had been _mostly_ good all year round. There were a few slip ups with bossy Annie failing to share properly and little three-year-old Tommy back-sassing his elders (Liz had usually found it hilarious, which wasn't helping the problem), but they were as deserving as any two rugrats ever could be. Annie might be a little spoiled and Tommy had a bit of a smart mouth, but they were also helpful when the opportunity arose (their ability to actually accomplish a task without making a mess notwithstanding) and knew exactly when to turn on the charm whenever someone needed a hug. Will didn't regret spending a stupid amount of money to keep the magic of Christmas alive for them another year and he probably wouldn't think twice about it the next, either. Even if come morning they only played with the wrapping.

Now that their duties as Santa Claus had been dispatched, Will sat back on the couch with a glass of red wine in one hand and his wife cuddled up to his side under the arm of the other. Liz sipped slowly at her Big People Juice as they both stared into the fireplace, watching the gas-fed flames flicker in a room that was otherwise dark except for the multi-colored Christmas lights on the tree in the corner. The ambiance was warm and soothing, potentially romantic if Will could convince Liz to shake off her holiday fatigue, but there was one thing that spoiled the scene.

"I hate that fucking elf," he declared into the peacefully silent night, glaring at the unsettling plastic face staring at him from the mantle. It's skinny, cheaply stitched body leaned haphazardly against a tall, cranberry scented candle with its spindly arms crossed over its lap. The cursed thing was watching them, practically daring Will to make his move so that it could report a scandalous seduction to the Big Man up at the North Pole, a judging jolly smile carved into its rosy cheeks.

He felt as much as heard Liz laugh in response, her shoulders bobbing up and down with each spasm of humor. "His name is 'Snowflake,' according to Annie, and I think _all_ parents hate Elf on the Shelf. Whoever thought of it was a real bastard – and probably richer even than us."

"Quite possibly," Will admitted, pausing to kiss his wife atop her head. "It's a conspiracy! You always think that you just won't do it for your kids, that all the other parents out there are suckers, but the second Annie came back from preschool crying that Santa wasn't coming because we didn't have an elf representative in our house we were sunk. The worst part is how it _watches_ us – which is, of course, the entire point."

"And here I thought you put Snowflake in the freezer because you were being clever."

Darcy snorted and sipped his wine. "I just didn't want it staring at me any longer."

"Like _you're_ one to judge about staring, William Darcy!" Liz accused playfully, swatting at him a little tipsily. Will didn't know exactly which part of him she was aiming for, but she missed it by a mile and hit the throw pillow on his other side instead. "You used to watch me so closely I kept checking my teeth for spinach! I seriously had no idea you were into me until you asked me out – and even then I wasn't so convinced, if you recall."

Skipping over that reminder of what an asshole he'd been before they'd successfully hooked up, he mocked up an affronted tone and scolded, "You did _not_ just compare me to that creepy Elf on the Shelf."

"I so did."

"I want a divorce."

"Then you should have gotten me to sign the prenup. I'm too expensive to get rid of."

"Damn."

Will pulled Liz closer and she obligingly tucked her head beneath his chin so that he could nuzzle at the soft nest of loose curls at her crown. He allowed his hand to venture southward at a creeping pace and only halted when he was cupping the crest of her hip through the thin material of her forest-hued leggings. Once in this enviable position, Will began kneading gently.

"_Please_," he begged the universe from within the confines of his alcohol- and lust-saturated mind, "_all I want for Christmas is a little nookie._"

From across the room, Will could have sworn that that creepy elf's eye twinkled. Must be a stray piece of glitter; all the holiday decorations were lousy with the stuff (as was now their carpet).

"You know," Liz said after a silence of some minutes, her own fingers walking themselves up his leg in a taunting gait; he shivered as she skimmed past the portion of his anatomy he wished she'd stopped at, "considering that pile over there, it couldn't have seen _everything_. Remember what almost happened in the kitchen a couple weeks ago…?"

Though his concentration was a little fuzzy now that her naughty wandering fingers were prying his shirt buttons free of their holes, Will had no trouble recalling that sexy little interlude on the kitchen island earlier in the month. If Georgia hadn't brought Annie and Tommy home at the worst moment possible, that unnerving little fucker on the mantle would have had a doozy of a story to report back to the mothership. Or whatever.

"You know," Will commented as casually as he was capable with a voice thickened with mounting desire, "since Santa already came this year and there's a strict no return policy at the North Pole, maybe we could pick up where we left off."

Liz sat upright to look at him directly, both of her eyebrows raised high upon her forehead and her lips quirked in a naughty grin. "Why, Mr Darcy, what are you suggesting?"

"I'm suggesting, Mrs Darcy, that I rip your clothes off and fuck you in front of the Christmas tree."

Will drained the last of the Big People Juice out of his glass and set it on the end table closest to himself before reaching over and plucking Liz's from her willing fingers and setting it with its twin. He then utilized his newly empty hands to draw his wife closer, burying them deeply in the curly mass of her hair. She followed the suggested trajectory and their lips met feverishly at the halfway point between their bodies.

He'd known that Liz's absolute refusal would be negotiable after a little alcoholic persuasion; her tolerance for even a single glass of Merlot was much lower since having kids and she was frisky when tipsy. She said that it made her feel pleasantly tingly all over, like when Will teased her with tickling kisses down the slope of her neck – much as he was doing now. He nibbled at the sweet-smelling flesh beneath her earlobe and allowed himself a proud smirk when she moaned in response.

It wasn't in Liz's nature to be passive in anything and their sex life was no exception to this general rule. While Will kept himself busy with licks and nips at her throat, Liz's hands were roaming free of restraint down the front of his torso, loosening the few remaining buttons on her way down. When she'd successfully freed the last one, her fingers found their way beneath the evergreen fabric and skimmed deliciously ticklish trails across his flesh. He shuddered when her fingernails dug in and scraped down his spine.

Will moved his mouth back up to kiss Liz as he simultaneously pressed her backwards into the cushions of the couch, baring down on her with his weight to accomplish this goal. Her knees parted, inviting him between them, and he accepted gratefully, grinding his hips within the cradle of hers. The hardening bulge within his charcoal gray trousers strained for release when it encountered the heat of Liz's apex; after so many years of loving this woman, it felt like being invited home.

"Will…," she whimpered before a sharp gasp of pleasure cut off further speech. Will grinned against her lips and rubbed more vigorously, earning a deep moan.

Just as his hands were venturing beneath the hem of Liz's lacy camisole, a soft shuffling noise caused Will to freeze solid. Seconds later, from behind the back of the couch, he heard a sweet little voice call out above the sound of their fevered panting, "Santa? Is that you?"

Shit! Annie was out of bed and hunting for Santa Claus. Will peeked over his shoulder and glared at that smug plastic face, thinking, "_You little bastard! I'll just bet you lured Georgia home early last week, too. Fucking tattletale._"

Beneath him, Liz was biting her lips together in a transparent effort to keep herself from laughing aloud at their predicament. Typical – she always found humor in the most awkward situations. And damn if he didn't want her more when her eyes sparkled like that.

With a throaty cough to clear his roughened voice, Will ducked his head lower and called out in the highest pitch he could manage, "Annie, what are you doing out of bed? If you don't go back upstairs right now I'm going to call Santa to take all those presents back up the chimney!"

A horrified squeak sounded from where Will knew the base of the staircase to be and he silently prayed that Annie would scurry back upstairs without investigating any further into the room. That would be the easiest way to ruin Christmas for all of them.

"I'm sorry, Snowflake! I'll go back to bed right now!" Annie's voice grew fainter the further her pattering footsteps took her from the room. "Don't tell Santa!"

As if a herd of polar bears had invaded their upper floor, there was a thundering sound above their heads, the panicked slam of a door, a squeal of bed springs and blessed silence. Will sighed deeply and bowed his head in relief as Liz began to alternately giggle and hiccup under him. "This is not funny."

"I disagree!" Liz buried her face against the bare portion of Will's chest, practically vibrating with merriment. "I think you mimicking an elf to prevent our daughter from catching us jingling our bells is _very_ funny."

"'Jingling our bells'?"

"I just made it up. You like it?"

"It's very festive." Will simultaneously laughed and rolled his eyes as his wife submitted to another fit of irreverent giggles. Oh yeah, she was toasted. "Come on, let's go upstairs to pick up where we left off. I don't trust that little backstabber not to give us away again."

Liz leaned back, still grinning, to tilt her head at him in that enchantingly curious way that had grabbed his attention all those years ago. "Who?"

Will jerked his thumb in the direction of the mantle. "The elf!"

"Snowflake?"

"And I thought_ I_ was drunk," Liz quipped, pressing her palms flat against his lower abdomen to push him backwards. Will allowed her to direct him away and leaned back on his haunches to let her up off the couch, his dark green shirt still hanging open to reveal his entire torso. "Come on then, if you're so paranoid."

As Liz got up from the couch, teetering slightly before gaining her balance, she held out her hand for him to take and he accepted it, following her from the family room linked together. As they crossed the threshold into the foyer where they would mount the staircase, Will paused long enough to glare suspiciously at the elf one last time. That same errant piece of glitter twinkled back cheekily.

"Bah Humbug, you sneaky little fucker."

* * *

**Author's Note:** I know, you're thinking that I'm crazy to be starting another project, but honestly my Naughty/Nice Anthologies are just a place to dump all the small holiday-themed ideas that I can't chase away. Plus, I'll only update it whenever I have one to share, so there's no pressure to come up with chapters.

In any event, the concept here is pretty simple: a mixture of Modern AU and Regency JAFF holiday OneShots which will be occasionally connected to one another (or even possibly one of my other stories), but usually not. Unless specified otherwise, each installment stands alone within its own little self contained universe. As I said above, I'm going to alternate between MAU and Regency settings, not necessarily in a discernible pattern, though I'm going to aim for an even spread. I've also separated my anthology into separate "Naughty" and "Nice" categories since I know that most JAFF readers have strong preferences one way or the other and this will enable everyone to choose their level of "holiday spice." In the "Naughty" category, the rating will always be M or MA; T/PG-13 and below can be found in "Nice."

I spent the entire time I was writing this snickering like an immature idiot. For the record, my household doesn't do Elf on the Shelf, but I suspect that's only because my kids are three and one and don't know any better. Yet. I'm not looking forward to it because I agree with Darcy; creepy as fuck.

If you think of a theme/idea that sounds fun (for either MAU or Regency), feel free to drop it into your review. Can't promise that I'll do anything with it, but I love prompts and feel generous around the holidays.

_**Happy Holidays!**_

– _MrsMarySmythe_


	2. Mr Darcy, It's Cold Outside (Regency)

**Title: **Naughty  
**Rating:** MA (Mature/18+) – spicier than a candy cane dipped in cinnamon, folks.  
**Disclaimer:** _Though I write stories based on the novels and characters of Jane Austen, this work belongs to ME and no one else. Unless given express permission, no one besides myself has the right to distribute or profit from my intellectual property. All rights reserved.  
_**Setting: **Regency

**Summary:** The "naughty" half of my "Naughty and Nice" anthology series. Unconnected OneShots with a sexy holiday theme, alternating between Regency and Modern AU. For mature readers only.

_The neighbors might think (Baby it's bad out there)  
Say what's in this drink? (No cabs to be had out there)  
I wish I knew how (Your eyes are like starlight now)  
To break this spell (I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell) (Why thank you)  
I ought to say no, no, no sir (Mind if move in closer?)  
At least I'm gonna say that I tried (What's the sense of hurtin' my pride?)  
I really can't stay (Baby don't hold out)  
Baby it's cold outside _

… … o0o … …

_**Mr Darcy, It's Cold Outside  
**__2019_

"We should rise and prepare for services, dearest," Darcy murmured, most reluctantly, against the curve of his wife's shoulder blade. He followed the resulting sigh with a soft kiss to the same spot.

Elizabeth Darcy groaned petulantly and pivoted her head so that she was looking at her husband over her shoulder, her face cast in a pout so dramatic that it had to be contrived. Darcy chuckled and nuzzled his nose against her as she complained, "William, the snow is up to our knees out there! I think even the Almighty will understand if we remain home. Besides, how would we even get to Lambton?"

"We would take the sleigh, of course," replied Darcy, loosening the hold he had upon Elizabeth's waist and flopping onto his back. "Come, we must set the example for the neighborhood and attend, even in poor weather."

Elizabeth rolled to face him and reached out a hand to rest low upon his abdomen. Darcy eyed it with suspicion, somewhat wary of its intent. "But William, it is cold outside. Let us stay in bed..." Her smile was mischievous and her eyes like starlight as she weighted her plea heavily with implication. Then, her hand began to move downward.

Darcy caught it before it could breech the barrier of the sheet that covered his lower half. He swallowed and fought hard against his body's reaction. "Elizabeth..."

Propping herself up upon one elbow, her long curly locks spilling over her shoulders and onto the bed beneath them, Elizabeth smirked at him. "Do not blaspheme my name with that tone, William. I enjoy attending church, you know that I do, and I am also exceedingly fond of a good romp out in the snow, but you must admit that today's weather is atrocious." She nodded her head at the window upon the far wall of his chamber where sleet and flurries were swirling angrily against the glass. "If even I have reservations about going out, perhaps it is best to remain at home."

"But I have never missed services on Christmas Day." Darcy frowned and allowed some irritation to leak into his tone.

"Very well," Elizabeth said, seemingly conceding with a sigh. She tugged her hand free of his loose grip and sat up, which Darcy at first thought a promising sign of intention to ready herself for their outing, but which turned into another maneuver against him. Once she was sitting erect, Elizabeth released the silk sheets covering her chest and allowed them to pool around her hips. Her nipples were rosy and erect in the chill morning. "Then I shall have to work harder to convince you."

Darcy swallowed and willed his eyes to remain fixed upon his wife's smirking face, but they betrayed him with frequent glimpses at her exposed body. "Elizabeth…," he warned again, coughing to clear the squeak he had not intended, "you cannot seduce me into staying home."

"Oh, you think so?" Elizabeth's tone was as self assured as the lift of her eyebrow. Her gaze traveled down to where he was tenting the sheets and scoffed at him. "We shall see, Mr Darcy."

He was about to protest further when Elizabeth shucked the rest of the bedclothes away, leaving them both completely bare, and stretched a leg across him so that she was kneeling against the mattress with his thighs between hers. Darcy's erection twitched at the closer proximity and betrayed his weakness for this form of persuasion.

Darcy wished he knew how to break this spell that Elizabeth had over him, but then he had wished the same early in their acquaintance and had never been capable of it. Now that they were married and he was familiar with how creatively passionate she could be, he was even less able to resist her. She had won this battle (as she generally did).

Giving in to the impulses she had triggered, Darcy released his tightly clenched fists from where they had rested on the mattress and raised them first to her knees, skimmed up her thighs, caressed the sharp slope where her hips dipped into her waistline and rested them upon her breasts where he teased those taunting nipples. He was gratified by the way she moaned and bit her lower lip as his thumbs rubbed the hard buds. "I will at least say that I tried."

Elizabeth gasped as he pinched one nipple and bucked her hips forward. He met them with a little thrust of his own. "As you say..."

Words faded away to replaced by a deep moan of satisfaction and a sharp gasp of pleasure as Elizabeth lowered herself down and guided Darcy inside. He slipped in slowly, prolonging the hot bliss of their joining, and she paused for a long moment once he was fully seated. Elizabeth often did this when she chose the top position; she said that she enjoyed savoring the fullness. After a few seconds, however, the anticipation drove her to begin rocking back and forth and her pace increased from there until both of them were breathing heavily and emitting undignified, animalistic sounds.

Darcy released her breasts only when Elizabeth bucked so vigorously that he nearly slipped out of her mid-stroke. They dropped down to her hips on reflex and contained the wild flexing into a more steady rhythm. Darcy had just enough concentration to guide her, but was otherwise lost to the abyss of pleasure that he was slowly descending into.

When Elizabeth's climax hit, it was quick and sudden; she flexed her back and stilled as her muscles clenched, her head thrown back as a silent scream erupted from her mouth. Her curls fell like a crashing waterfall down her back and tickled Darcy's thighs as the spasms rocked her body. The contraction of her inner walls coupled with this wild image of his beloved wife in the thrall of pleasure triggered Darcy's own release and he followed her into the white oblivion.

Darcy came fully back to his senses some time later – it might have been seconds, minutes or possibly longer, he could not be entirely sure – and found them back in the positions they had woken in with himself spooned against Elizabeth's back and she curled into him. The only indication – well, at least the only one his pleasure-addled brain could recognize – that their lovemaking had not been simply an intense dream was the deep heaving of their chests and the damp sheen of sweat covering their bodies and the bedding beneath them.

When he had gathered enough control to speak, Darcy panted into his wife's ear, "You...win."

The responding arch of her cheek told him that she was grinning in victory.

… … o0o … …

**Author's Note:** Since the song "Baby, It's Cold Outside" has recently been accused of promoting date rape (I don't necessarily agree, though I can see why someone might think so) I thought it would be interesting to give Darcy the "but I gotta go" stance while Elizabeth persuaded him to stay.

Forgive any anomalies/grammatical errors; flying unbeta'd and I'm trying to get this out before Christmas is over.

Merry Christmas!

– _MrsMarySmythe_


	3. Want You For My Own (MAU)

**Title: **Naughty  
**Rating:** MA (Mature/18+) – spicier than a candy cane dipped in cinnamon, folks.  
**Disclaimer:** _Though I write stories based on the novels and characters of Jane Austen, this work belongs to ME and no one else. Unless given express permission, no one besides myself has the right to distribute or profit from my intellectual property. All rights reserved.  
_**Setting: **Modern AU

**Summary:** The "naughty" half of my "Naughty and Nice" anthology series. Unconnected OneShots with a sexy holiday theme, alternating between Regency and Modern AU. For mature readers only.

This one is a continuation of the story in "Nice" entitled "All I Want." You don't really need to read that one first, but it's sweet and you might want to for better clarity.

_I don't want a lot for Christmas  
This is all I'm asking for  
I just wanna see my baby  
Standing right outside my door_

_I just want you for my own  
More than you could ever know  
Make my wish come true_

_Baby all I want for Christmas is you_

… … o0o … …

_**Want You for my Own  
**__2019_

Lizzy drifted into consciousness slowly and softly, much like how snow melts away quietly in the warmth of bright sunlight until only traces of it are left in shaded areas. Her first impression upon waking, with the last vestiges of a good night's sleep fading slowly from the corners of her sluggish mind, was that she was very cozy. A large mass of heat was pressed into her back and acting like a giant hot water bottle, very soothing.

Her second impression was that this giant pile of warmth was _moving_, rhythmically gyrating against her backside at a lazy pace. Definitely a person, then.

Her third impression was related to the second and caused a grin to spread across her face as her memory, delayed by the slow crawl to consciousness, began to fill in the blanks.

"Merry Christmas," said a gravelly, mumbling voice from just behind her right ear. A large hand beneath the covers was stroking down the length of the same side.

Lizzy scooted backwards so that she was flush against her guest and could feel the hardening protuberance between them. "Merry Christmas, Will."

"Mmm…," Will Darcy moaned more than said, nuzzling a mass of fluff out of his way so that he could kiss her neck without taking in a mouthful of hair. His teeth grazed the sensitive skin just beneath her earlobe and she shivered appreciatively.

"Will..." Lizzy hissed as his wandering lips traveled down the length of her neck, sucking, nibbling and licking at whatever he found along the way. Goosebumps rose across her entire body at the contact, causing a delightful tingle all over. She clenched her thighs together to alleviate the yearning in one spot where it was particularly concentrated.

Will didn't respond verbally, but instead bucked his hips into her backside with a clear request. Lizzy ground against him as her answer and he growled into her hair.

With no further preamble, Will shifted so that he was hovering over her, the blankets still cocooning them in their cozy private space, and she giggled when he urged her onto her back. Her knees parted to welcome him in and Will descended into the cradle of her pelvis to rub more directly at the spot where he wished to be. He lowered onto his forearms so that he could kiss her and, as their mouths met in a tangle of tongues, he slipped deep inside.

Lizzy moaned softly as Will seated himself within and tightened her thighs against his, her curling toes clenched against the back of his calves. He withdrew from her for a long, aching moment before driving back inside, creating a delicious friction between them which vibrated along the length of her body. Then, bless him, he did it again. And again. And again, again, _again_…

"Merry Christmas, Lizzy! Time to get up and see what Santa brou – _S__weet Baby Jesus_!"

The cheerful Christmas greeting ended with a surprised shriek just as the comforter and sheets were whipped off of them, exposing Lizzy and Will's morning merrymaking to the chill of late December and the wide, horrified eyes of the former's sweet elder sister. Jen Bennet stood directly at the foot of the queen sized bed, their coverings still tangled in her fingers, flushed a bright holly berry red.

"_Jen_! What the hell – ?"

Once the cold air hit their warm bodies, Lizzy screeched in a similar fashion and struggled to extricate herself from Will, who was attempting something similar with mixed results. He had slipped out in all the sudden melee, but their limbs were not so easily pulled apart; their activities and the surprise of being caught in the midst of them had transformed the pair of them into some kind of giant, twisty knot of body parts. Lizzy couldn't help but find the idea of requesting butter from her shocked sister to ease their disentanglement to be darkly funny.

"I am so sorry, Lizzy!" Jen cried, unfreezing herself enough to slap her hands in front of her eyes and give them a limited amount of privacy, as well as some censoring for herself. Unfortunately, the gesture was primarily wasted as her boyfriend Charlie came bounding into the bedroom at that particular moment, a large dripping coffee stain splashed across the front of his hideously festive sweater. "I didn't realize you had company!"

"I heard screams! What's going – Darcy? What the hell are you doing here?" Charlie entered the fracas with his endearingly innocent questions, having likely spilled his morning beverage all over himself in an effort to rush to his lady love's rescue when Jen had squealed at her discovery beneath the blankets. His eyes widened to similarly broad proportions as his girlfriend's when he apparently realized that he wasn't about to do battle with an unusually large spider but rather something more complicated. "And why are you _naked_?"

Finally separated after many unintended pinches and elbows jabbed into uncomfortable places, Will grabbed the pillow from his side of the bed and clutched it to his lower abdomen to conceal the parts of himself best hidden from company. Lizzy followed suit, turning the pillow vertical to cover more area. "Why do you think?" Will snipped, his sarcasm rolling off of him like low thunder. "Seems pretty obvious to me."

"But you don't like each other – "

"We like each other just fine," Will interrupted. "Now _get out_."

Jen groped around blindly with one hand, using the other to keep her eyes shielded, until she grabbed hold of Charlie's wrist. Then, she started blindly tugging him toward the open door. "Yes, sorry again! We'll just...uh, be in the living room. Take your time."

"Let Kitty out!" Lizzy called just before the door closed behind her unanticipated guests. She caught a fleeting glimpse of Charlie giving her a thumbs up before their privacy was restored.

Once they were blessedly alone, Lizzy heard Will huff out an exasperated sigh as he shifted upon the bed. She turned to see him covering his face with both hands, elbows propped within the fluff of his pillow, slouching over in some kind of defeat. Was he embarrassed to be caught in the middle of a delicate moment, or did it still humiliate him to be seen with her? Lizzy wanted to assume the former, but some old insecurities rose up from the murkier portions of her mind and she became anxious. "Will…?"

Will didn't even glance up. "Did you forget your sister was coming over, or…?"

Hmph. "No, I'm supposed to go over to my parents' house this morning for breakfast and – Jeezus, it's past noon! No wonder they sent out a search party; I was supposed to be there by nine." Lizzy stared in astonishment at the accusingly red, glowing numbers of her digital clock. Apparently, in the midst of her passionate interlude with Will the previous night, she had neglected to set her alarm. Not that she usually needed to; her circadian rhythm generally woke her by eight and for her to sleep into the afternoon was unheard of since she had left adolescence and joined the work force. That, and Kitty usually pounced on her to be let out.

Will looked up and past her to investigate the time himself. "I'd better text Rick and let him know I'll be late to Aunt Cathy's. I'm due there in less than an hour."

"I see." They were apparently ready to go their separate ways. Super. "Well, I won't stop you. See ya around, I guess."

Lizzy kept her pillow tight to her bare chest as she lowered her feet to the floor on her side of the bed, blinking hard to beat back the sting of tears at the corners of her eyes. So he got what he wanted and was ready to leave – big deal. So what if he was still embarrassed to be seen with her and would probably tell Charlie later that this was just a one night stand. She'd stick to that story, if only to prevent her own pride from crumbling.

Before Lizzy could levy herself completely to her feet, she felt a large hand gently tugging her backwards. She lost her precarious balance and bounced back onto the mattress, whipping her head back around to look at Will who was frowning at her as if _he_ were the one unceremoniously dumped on Christmas morning. "What do you mean, 'see ya around'?"

"Well, it means that we'll see each other occasionally, probably when we can't avoid it, and – "

"I know what it means!" Will cut her off, his scowl deepening. "Why are you saying it to me? Didn't...didn't last night mean something to you?"

Of all the nerve! "_You're_ the one who wants to fuck and flee! We get caught and you can't wait to scurry out the door like it never happened. When you said that you still felt the same way as you did at Easter, I didn't think you meant that bit about sneaking around so that no one knew you were dating _someone like me_. Just because my family is kinda – "

"I never said anything like – "

"You didn't have to," Lizzy accused, feeling a single, traitorous tear glide down the reddened surface of her cheek. Will raised his hand slowly as if to wipe it away, but Lizzy swatted it back down and impatiently swiped the trail of moisture herself with the back of her own fingers. "The second Jen and Charlie caught us, you were practically out the door. Well, just because I _stupidly_ developed feelings for you doesn't mean that my position has changed – I'm no one's dirty little secret, Will Darcy!"

"Lizzy..."

Equal amounts pissed and hurt, Lizzy ignored his soft plea and bounded off of the bed and stalked toward the tiny ensuite bathroom. She heard a panicked rustling of pillows and tangled sheets and then Will was in front of her again, blocking her path, with his face scrunched up in fear. "Get out of my way."

"Lizzy, listen to me. I don't know what made you think that was how I felt, but – "

"Because you can't wait to get out of here – "

"Jeezus, Lizzy, let me finish!" Will demanded, raising his voice for the first time to cut her off. Lizzy stopped talking and pursed her lips together, a silent signal to allow him his way. Will reached out to her and placed both hands gently upon the points of her folded elbows. "I'm not embarrassed of you, it's just the situation. I don't know about you, but I've never been caught with my dick in anyone before – at least not so directly." Lizzy bit the inside of her cheek to quell the unwanted laughter that was bubbling up. "I'm not trying to dash out the door at all, that's why I wanted to text Rick; he can keep the family from beating down my door until _we_ decide where we go from here. I didn't want to just invite myself over to your family's Christmas celebrations without talking to you first, but I was hoping to spend the day with you. I was hoping to stay in bed, of course, but eating pancakes with the Bennets is good, too."

Lizzy's eyes dropped to the floor where their bare feet mingled; she could just see them over the swell of her pillow. "You don't really mean that."

Will tipped her chin up, forcing her to lock eyes with him. His soft, snowy gray irises were filled with earnestness. "I _do_ mean it. You've finally given me a chance – one that I probably don't deserve, but am not stupid enough to pass up – and I don't want to waste it. If I thought anything would be open today, I'd take you out and parade you around to everyone I know! As it is, I intended to settle for announcing our relationship to our families. For now."

Lizzy could feel the pain and anger in her chest beginning to thaw. She took a small, shuffling step closer to Will and allowed him to wrap his arms more fully around her. "You mean you don't hate my family anymore? And you don't want us to sneak around?"

"I think 'hate' is a strong word, Lizzy. Your mom and Lydia might annoy me, but I never hated them. I reserve that for…," Will paused as a disgusted expression spread across his face, almost as if he had tasted something rancid, "...well, never mind. And I was an idiot to ever suggest that we hide our relationship from everyone just because you aren't rich or well connected. I'm ashamed to have ever said that to you."

"As well you should be," Lizzy replied, but she was smiling again as she felt a sudden up swell of indulgence. "I'm a catch, you know."

"And I'm so glad I finally caught you." Darcy punctuated his statement with a swift, yet somewhat desperate, kiss. When he broke away, he didn't move far but instead rested his forehead against hers. "I'm so sorry I ever made you feel like you were less than me, Lizzy. You're more than I deserve."

Lizzy kissed him again at a slower tempo, savoring the sweetness of it. She pulled her lips away from his just far enough to ask, impishly, "Do you think we have time for makeup sex?"

She could feel Will's surprised laugh in the roots of her teeth as he drew in for yet another kiss. His words were muffled as he said, much disappointment in his tone, "No, not with Charlie and your sister in the next...mmm...room..."

Lizzy raised her hands and curled her fingers into the thick, wavy hair at the back of his head as she tilted her face to the side and slid her tongue into his mouth. She had meant to agree with him and shoo him away to go find his pants, but instead she found herself pressing up against him with that blasted, interfering pillow trapped between them. She wriggled until it fell to the floor and then kicked it to the side with one foot.

Will seemed to be caught up in the same spell as she as he made no further attempts to get their ablutions on track. His hands fell from the points of her elbows and slid down the arched curves of her hips before resting against the plush flesh of her bottom. He cupped each cheek with one palm and pulled them tighter together so that she could feel his throbbing desire against her belly.

Knock, knock. "Will? Lizzy?"

Will broke away from Lizzy with an exasperated groan. He looked up toward the ceiling as if begging God for patience, causing his new paramour to giggle, before calling out, "We really need to discuss your boundary issues, Bingley."

"Sorry," came a chagrined voice through the door. "I found some of your clothes in the living room and thought you might, um...need them."

"I certainly don't _want_ them right now," Will grumbled directly into Lizzy's ear. She buried her face into the crook of his neck to prevent herself from laughing out loud. To Charlie, he said, "Leave them by the door and I'll come get them. Then go back to the living room and stay there."

"Aye-aye, Cap'n." Knowing Charlie, he was probably saluting the door as he said that. Thankfully, his footsteps began receding down the hallway and into the more public portions of the house.

Lizzy raised her face and pecked Will on the cleft in his chin before saying, with no small amount of reluctance, "I guess we should get dressed and go out there."

Will huffed. "I guess so. If we don't, one of them is liable to barge in here looking for us again and far too many people have seen me naked today already."

"Come on, then." Lizzy released the soft waves of hair she was still clutching and stepped out of the warm circle of Will's arms. "I'll make it up to you tonight."

"Tonight?"

"Unless you have other plans..."

"Hell no!"

...

"I still can't believe you're dating Will Darcy. Didn't you hate him last week?"

Lizzy disguised her sigh by blowing gently on the surface of her piping hot peppermint mocha latte. "First of all, Jen, hate is a strong word; I don't hate anyone...except maybe Greg. That asshole can go eat a bag of rancid dicks, as far as I'm concerned."

Jen, who normally defended everyone regardless of how little they deserved it, diplomatically refused to either agree or disagree with Lizzy's sentiments; she had always been a champ at not saying anything at all whenever she couldn't otherwise say something nice. Instead, she focused her attention on the subject she had raised. "Semantics aside, I know you didn't like him very much for a long while and had no idea that you'd changed your mind about him until...well, _you know_."

Lizzy snorted and felt the hot sting of coffee in her sinus cavities. After dabbing away the dripping liquid away from her nostrils with a napkin, she teased, "You mean until you saw us twisted together like a knotted string of Christmas lights?"

"Yeah, I think that was the moment I suspected a change in your feelings."

Both sisters laughed and settled more deeply into the cushions of their fashionably worn coffee house armchairs. It was two days after Christmas and Will had, most annoyingly, been forced to return to work which left Lizzy feeling lonely for company after being so constantly in his presence for so many days together. After surviving the Bennet Family Christmas Morning (or, in their case, afternoon) Extravaganza, they had returned to her tiny little house and spent the following forty-eight hours reveling in the endorphin heavy haze of their newly founded Relationship. They had made love, of course, including that crazed round of makeup sex that Lizzy had promised him after their little tiff, but more of their time had been spent talking and snuggling than anything else. They were getting to know each other properly after having neglected it during the early portion of their acquaintance when he had been a snooty ass looking for a booty call and she had complimented herself on despising him for his insulting attitude. It turned out that they had as much in common as they did differences and it was rather fun determining which things about their personalities were alike and dissimilar.

After sending Will off with one final round of "I'll miss you more, no I'll miss _you_ more" sex early in the morning, Lizzy had been somewhat adrift. She wasn't due back in her classroom until after the new year began and so, instead of being idle and lonesome, she had called her sister to meet up for coffee. Jen wasn't flying out until Tuesday and was equally desperate to get away from the Bennet household for a bit, and so here they were catching up with warm holiday beverages at a chain coffee house.

"Speaking of changing feelings," Lizzy said once they had gained control of their giggles, "how are things with Charlie? I know the long distance thing has got to be hard."

Jen shrugged. "Yeah, but it's not like I live on the moon – and even if I did there are enough ways to communicate these days that it wouldn't make much of a difference. We're going slow for now, rebuilding the trust, but I think it's going to work out. I have a good feeling."

"So do I." Lizzy reached out and squeezed Jen's hand, a gesture her sister returned. "But how is Carrie handling it? I know she wasn't super excited about her brother dating a lowly nurse not that long ago."

"Carrie is…," Jen paused, probably searching for something diplomatically kind to say, "okay, I guess. Friendly."

Lizzy wanted to laugh at the thought of Carrie Bingley ever being "friendly" to anyone – perhaps even throw in a quip about her "resting Grinch face," as Lizzy had taken to referring to Carrie's imperious sneer of superiority lately – but chose to let the opportunity pass. "At least she's trying."

"Yeah. But, seriously, how did this thing with Will happen? Last I knew, you were still pissed at his frenemies-with-benefits proposition, and now you're inviting him to Christmas with the family. Had I been asked, I never would have guessed – not in a million years – that he would be your boyfriend."

Lizzy rolled her eyes upward, indulgently exasperated at her elder sister. "And here I was counting on you to help explain it to everyone else! Seriously, though, my feelings for Will have been growing for awhile now, since before all that...unpleasantness between Greg and Lydia. Remember how I bumped into him a few months ago?"

"Over the summer, right? While you were at the beach?"

"Yeah, then," Lizzy confirmed. "Well, we kinda...had a thing."

Jen's jaw slackened into a comical expression of surprise. "No. You've been sleeping with him for _six months _and I didn't know about it?"

Lizzy shook her head swiftly back and forth negatively before leaning forward. "Of course not! No, it wasn't like that then, we just...I dunno, we made a connection. After all that awkwardness at Easter, we were both ready to apologize and it led to more than that...nothing physical, just a better understanding of one another, I guess. We didn't even kiss for the first time until he showed up on my doorstep on Christmas Eve. When I got your call about Lydia, it kinda put the kibosh on what was happening between me and Will and I thought after that he just couldn't deal with all my baggage anymore and I was too scared to reach out to him again."

"So how did you reconnect?"

"Well, first, did you know that Will was the one to track down Greg?" The astounded expression on Jen's face indicated that she had not. "Yeah, I know. Lydia let something slip about him being at the airport and so I asked Aunt Maddie about it at Thanksgiving. She thought that Will had already told me everything, but filled in the blanks anyway. A week later, I sent Will a Christmas card and, when he didn't respond to it at all, I thought that was the end of it, but it turns out that he hadn't seen it until Christmas Eve. Then...well, you know how it turned out from there."

"Wow."

"I know, right?"

There was a beat of a pause and then Jen asked, "So...how is he?"

The sisters spent the next hour hogging their comfy spot in the coffee house and gossiping about the prowess of their new lovers – "Shadow puppets, Jen? Really? I guess if it doesn't bother you..." – what they'd gotten for Christmas this year – "seriously hot sex" – and future plans to meet up before the holiday break was over – "I'll, uh...get back to you on that." They were interrupted finally by the soft chirrup of Lizzy's phone.

When Lizzy noted the name on the screen, her lips spread into a pleased if bashful grin. Jen raised The Family Eyebrow, inherited by each Bennet daughter from their father, and made the obvious guess. "Will?"

"Yep," Lizzy agreed, pausing long enough to type out a short message, full of suggestive emoticons and playful double entendres, before she finished her thought to Jen. "Looks like he managed to escape work early and I'm on Booty Call. Thanks for the coffee, Sis, I'll see ya around."

"This is revenge for ditching you all those times in high school for Jeremy, isn't it?"

"Yep."

"Fair enough. Tell Will I said hi."

…

Lizzy parked her car and then eagerly leaped out of the driver's seat, only barely remembering to lock it behind her with the push of a button. Will grinned at her from the front porch of her little craftsman bungalow as she doubled back to do so, waiting patiently for her to ascend the three steps and unlock the door.

"I missed you," he said against her mouth once she'd made the required pilgrimage to where he stood on her festively cute snowman doormat – "There's Snowplace Like Home!" – his thumbs stroking the upper curves of her cheekbones.

Lizzy darted her tongue out to taste the seam between his lips, a teasing promise for what would happen once she'd managed to open the door, and hummed in agreement. "I missed you, too. Let's go inside where it's...warm."

"Warm is good…"

Somehow, Lizzy managed to rein in their make out session long enough to unlock her front door and let them inside, Will walking her backwards awkwardly with one hand on the curve of her waistline and the other...lower. They sealed themselves in and then, unable to make it so far as the bedroom, collapsed on the couch in the front living room where everything had started on Christmas Eve. With Kitty barking in the background from behind the kitchen door and their layers of clothing scattered haphazardly around them, they made satisfying love on Lizzy's threadbare sofa.

When they were finished, at least for the present, they lay curled up together with Lizzy's head nestled into the crook of Will's neck, her front pressed against the nude plains of his and her backside wedged against the cushions. Will used the arm trapped beneath her to wrap around her shoulders and rested his hand against the slope of the uppermost one. They only barely fit on the couch together basically stacked atop one another and one of Will's feet was braced against the floor to keep them balanced, but Lizzy was sure that her lover was as comfortable as she was.

When their breathing had settled into a normal rhythm and they had basked for several minutes in the warm afterglow, Lizzy ventured a question she had been wondering about. "Will," she said into his chest hair, "when did you fall in love with me?"

She felt a soft kiss against her hairline. "I don't know."

"Don't know or won't say?"

"Don't know, honestly. It was so long ago and I was already in deep by the time I'd even noticed." Will's fingers were lightly stroking the curve of Lizzy's shoulder with light, tickling trails that raised goosebumps all across the rest of her body. She nuzzled closer to him and enjoyed the tingles he raised, more comforted than aroused by these ministrations.

After a long minute of relaxing and returning the favor with absently traced shapes upon Will's stomach, mostly concentrated in that long line of hair which traversed the length of his torso, Lizzy craned her neck back so that she could kiss behind her lover's nearest earlobe. Then, she whispered against his aftershave scented skin, "I guess I could say the same. After our...fight, I didn't really know how to feel about you for a long time. Then we met up again over the summer and you were so different from what I always thought you were, so sweet and shy, that it only confused me more. It wasn't until after the thing with Lydia, when you were suddenly gone from my life again, that I realized I loved you. But you seemed to be avoiding me after everything, and..."

Will raised his other arm to wrap around her waist and pull her closer, practically on top of him, and squeezed tightly. "I'm so sorry, Lizzy. I assumed that, considering my role in all of it, you wouldn't want to see me again. I thought that you would blame me for not speaking up before Greg could...I was stupid."

"Just one more thing to add to your list of faults, Mr Darcy," Lizzy quipped against his throat. "Seriously, though, I could have tracked you down myself, but I was a coward about it. Even when I did reach out, it wasn't in person because I was afraid that you would send me away. When you didn't reply to my card, I assumed that you really didn't want to see me...at least I was wrong about that."

"If I hadn't been pouting like a toddler, I would have read my mail sooner and come for you. Had I even the slightest hint that you returned my feelings, nothing could have kept me away."

Lizzy dipped her chin so that she could rest her cheek against Will's chest. She sighed happily against the place she could hear his heart beating within. "Well, at least _that's_ all cleared up. Hey Will?"

"Yeah?"

"I know it's kinda late, but Merry Christmas."

… … o0o … …

**Author's Note:** Just a cute little idea that got out of control. It started with the idea of Lizzy responding to Will's letter with a Christmas card and then spiraled into "what if they got caught on Christmas morning?" It's best to read the "Nice" half of this story first, I think, but it probably stands alone.

In case you're wondering what the Wickham of this universe did, he was trying to sell Lydia to a human trafficking ring. He didn't do the same with Georgia(na) because he wanted to keep her around for her money, but since Lydia was more expendable...anyway, I figure the characters might have a tough time actually saying out loud what very nearly happened to the baby Bennet child, hence all the dodging around the subject.

Please forgive any anomalies and/or grammatical mistakes; I'm flying unbeta'd and wanted to post this before Christmas was over.

Merry Christmas!

– _MrsMarySmythe_


End file.
